i woke in the morning, wandering, wasted and worn out

after my strange, scary and thrilling adventures adrift in oxford i have returned.

haven't blogged in ages. i think i'll write 300 words right now to shut everyone up.
reasons why the independent is shit:
- it is read by pretentious pseudo-lefty bastards.
- it doesn't actually contain much news.
- last time i read the independent there were 5 articles about michael howard, including 2 written by him. they weren't even about his politics, just about how many holidays he'd taken and other shite.
- it tries desperately to be the *left wing equivalent* of the times. that sucks.

also i'm very annoyed about the whole ken livingstone saga. all he did was insult some fascist reporter. the comparison was nothing to do with jews or nazis, it was about people behaving immorally on the basis that it's their job. i don't get why other randomers are getting all offended. some one wrote in to the independent (another reason why it's shit) and said that ken was a victim of his own political correctness. this is obviously bullshit. ken doesn't represent political correctness, he represents equality, you moronic independent-reading retard.

yeah. so. here's what i've been up to:
friday: shopping with sarah and bob. purchased a badge for the exploitative price of £2.50. i know i have recounted this tale to nearly everyone over the past week, i am just shocked that i ripped myself off so much.
saturday: random bus-adventure to clapham with reid and ally. got *slightly* tipsy outside macdonalds/at waterloo station/in a park.
sunday: a tedious day. physics lectures. sleep. food. sleep.
monday: likewise.
tuesday: physics lectures. oxford. women's cabaret in a bar somewhere. drinks. kebabs. sleep.
wednesday: botanical gardens. stunning. coffee and cake in oxford, then homeward bound. played the recorder for several hours. ate celery. slept.
today: sleeping? eating? what day is it again?

what a productive week.
x

sore and disillusioned

i know, i know. i haven't updated my blog in too long again. but i have legitimate excuses this time, predominantly the fact that i am sick, and i've been on holiday, and unfortunately the enthusiasm that everyone had previously for this competition seems to have sizzled away, in fact some people haven't updated their blogs since JANUARY. pathetic. well, it was an easy way to get £20 either way. i don't think anyone is still updating, except maybe berengere, as ben is on holiday, hence could be evicted from this competition, and everyone else has given up, out of boredom or laziness or something. anyway, i know you won't want to hear a tedious update of my *shit* competition (as theo so kindly labelled it), so i'll shut up and talk about something else.

hmmm. i am ill, my throat burns and my nose runs and i am shaky and weak. i blame katrina (of course), as we did share a drink of tropicana together when she was ill last week. although this is slightly (well, incredibly then) unfair as she did warn me in advance of her evil bug, but i took the risk and now am regretting it. my cross-country walk out in the cold with natascha and michael yesterday made it worse of course, and now my mother was pretty damn annoyed that i am "ill enough to escape cooking the dinner but well enough to go out to the bloody cinema". wel, of course i am, mother dear. did you really think i would appoach a trip to see SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS - THE MOVIE with the same lack of enthusiasm as cooking fish and potatoes for my parents?! although admittedly i probably sounded a lot worse than i looked yesterday. haha that's the good thing about losing one's voice. useful in gaining sympathy...

pembrokeshire was disappointing. i was looking forward to a weekend of unlimited food, drink and tv. i did get that, but tv is SO shit! nothing of ANY interest or merit on all weekend, apart from never mind the buzzcocks, which i fucking missed! typical! saturday night tv is the worst - only dreadful movies and trashy shows like "stars in their eyes", which noow isn;t even hosted by the irrittating man in the beard but by the apalling cat deeley - she looks like a whore, she acts like a whore! in fact she IS a whore! important new discovery.

although i did watch the blue brothers which i declare to be the official best movie ever. no buts, no ifs. jake and elwood rock.

my dad made my lunch today! wow! he has never ever made my lunch for me in the last 11 years of my education! huge peak of fatherly love! an apple, a banana, and cheese and pickle snadwiches! pure heaven! yes, i understand that perhaps i am overreacting, but it indeed a breakthrough! normally he doesn't actually get out of bed until 11.30, then works for an hour, has a fry-up and spends the rest of the day in the pub... oh the blissful life of an *academic* as people like to call him.

i might go now. my life is so uninteresting that i won't keep you any longer.

post some sympathy comments, suckers.

x

and the head boy/girl results are.....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! PHIL BLOOMFIELD!!!!! SAM TETLOW!!!!!!!! SARAH!!!! LAUREN!!!!! SHAME ON YOU ALL, SUCKERS!!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING CHAV SCANDAL!!!!!

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fuck off paul wells

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she's electric

i haven't had the energy or the motivation to write aything this week, which i know is terrible. i haven't been too depressed thankfully, just too... preoccupied with random shite like the head girl speech and bastard physics homework and thinking about effective ways to get money etc. oh my joyous life...
ahh pete looked so beautiful in the picture of him sitting on the sofa in nme... finally out of jail... arrrgh the fucking pathetic tabloid headlines are driving me insane. basically all pete tried to do was try to steal some money off someone and probably hit him a few times at the same time. the fucking tabloids are coming out with shit about him wanting to buy heroin and being in a desperate state and poor vulnerable innocent kate moss being a victim of his ruthless lifestyle. fuck them. kate moss is a fully grown woman who has every opportunity not to go out with him. besides the person that pete attacked had sold a load of photos of him doing heroin to the mirror, so although i realise the extent of his addiction, let's face it, he probably had the right to be annoyed. the mirror can die in hell. it's pretty scary though, paying £150,ooo to get out of jail. as ben says, it's the price of freedom.

tim i really feel i need make myself clear regarding out argument earlier: i completely disagree that it is not alrght to discriminate againt people because of their class, but it is fine for less able people to have no right to an education. i hate to disappoint you, but this is elitist, presumptuous bullshit. i agree that there were strengths in the grammar school system, mainly that high achieving working class kids who passed their 11+ get a very supportive, challenging education. however the reason i believe this is wrong is that it deprives all the less able working class children from getting a good education at all, as they are the ones who ended up in the comprehensive schools without resources, with large class sizes, no individual support, violence and poor teaching. i suppose in tim's world everyone below a certain ability are not in fact citizens of society and don't deserve a job or education. is that meant to be equal and fair and just?! another thing that annoys me about tim's fascist philosophies: his concern that the highest paid people in britain are migrating abroad in order to escape the high taxes. seriously, what kind of person would leave the country simply because 12% of their £4.5 billion annual income is going to the government? blatantly someone incredibly corrupt. i don't see how tim can possibly believe that this will cause some sort of "brain drain" while at the same time arguing that "too many people are going to university and this will be a strain on the lower paid jobs". tim, you really fucking frustrate me.

subliminal message: isn't is annoying when people stand directly behind you and read what you are writing without acknowledging their presence? hint hint paul wells, fuck off to your german lesson...
ditto tascha.

okey doke. it's word count time! half of the corner cult suck, as virtually nobody has updated in the last week, but thjen i can't really talk, not having updated mine sicne friday, or something distant like that. you see seriously nothing particularly interesting actually happened since then, and i could go on about my mother and her fascist regime, tim and his fascist regime, and my tedious home life, but i'm sure nobody would be faintly interested. and sadly i dont have several gigabytes of random fiction saved on my computer like ben, nor do i have a boyfriend to talk about, like berengere, or pages of binary and tory politics like tim. in fact, i am doomed, and i seem to have lost all of my spontanaiety over the last few days. where was i? oh yeah, something about a word count. ironic, the way i use everyone else's word count to top up my own.

yeah, so here goes...

ben - we have a winner. 5,111 words. holy fuck.
berengere - 4,952 words. ben still has competition...
tim - 4,674 words. seems to have realised his blog is not necessarily the best place to promote the conservative party.
me -3,926. njot bad going. and that doesn't include this entry...
tascha (prob. offended as i didn't include her in the last official *word count*) - 2,299 words.
michael gardiner - 1,235.
phil - 952.
sarah - still 813 words.
theo - 634, an impressive achievement!
louise - 366 words (again)
paul wells - 328.
katrina - still 308 words. rubbish.
michael jones - can't be fucked counting all his scary words.

lalalalalalalala i can't be bothered with today, no tk, no french, no art, no lessons, no brain, no aim, no purpose, no sense, no excitement, no vigour, no passion, no energy, no life.... i am going to eat a piece of cheese. no screw that, i have no money.

jesus, i have been writing this thing since period 2! holy fuck, what an achievement! it is now period 5! i should just keep doing this all day! halleluyah!

am now listening to a cd of the trashiest '90s dance music ever. yay!

anyway, i am SO not going to spend all day on my blog, that would be pathetic and time-wasting.

seeya buddies

x

and we are not ALLOWED TO SPEND. 'cos we are told that THIS IS THE END...

things i am currently pissed off about:

- fucking environmental bullshit for CAS. doing a pantomime for year 7s about why they should pick up litter? sounds like *fun*...

-paul wells.

-retarded head girl campaign.

-tim's fascist policies invading our maths lessons. in the words of ms ebbs/michael christofides/virtually everyone else in the universe "he doesn't have a [fucking] clue."

- lack of energy/activity in e block currently. where the fuck is everyone?

- I WANT TICKETS FOR MANIC STREET PREACHERS. I WANT THEM NOW. I DON'T HAVE £23.50 AND MY PARENTS SUCK. i mean come on, my dad just got promoted to £58 K per year, but £23.50 is beyond him. it SUCKS.

-green day hysteria. they are crap.

- i'm hungry. i'm going to complain to someone else now.

BOYCOTT VALENTINE'S DAY

FUCK YOU ALL. valentine's day is for SMUG BITCHES in fucking IRRITATINGLY STABLE relationships. so FUCKING CUT IT OUT. i'm so FUCKING FED UP. BASTARDS, ALL OF YOU, MAKING OUT ON SUCH A DEPRESSING DAY, while i calmly go home, do my physics homework and eat a piece of fucking cheese.

you SUCK.

this is saturday's entry, i just forgot to post it

jesus fucking christ. chaos, endless exasperating chaos.
ok, so here’s what happened, in the present tense, streets-stylee. we went along to some lame quiz night at my mother’s primary school. my uncle was already a bit pissed at this point, down from scotland for the weekend. of course, the only way my dad could entertain his brother in true scottish conduct was to dink several pints. so, my dad is completely sober on three pints. duncan, on the other hand is pretty damn pissed. so then we’re sitting down answering questions for, like, three hours, eating peanuts and everyone is sinking into copious quantities of red wine. then suddenly duncan is completely paralytic, and lurching around into these randomers halfway through the quiz. so my parents get slightly humiliated by this, and move him onto their table. duncan sits down, and settles for water for about 5 minutes. my parents are relieved. then he turns suddenly to my dad and asks in a genuinely perplexed voice “are you scottish?”. my dad thinks he is making some drunken enquiry as to whether my dad has “betrayed scotland” in engaging in english culture, and starts to laugh. it then sinks in that actually duncan sincerely is unable to recognise his own brother.

i got a lift home with angie, in order to avoid my parents, who are pretty tipsy as well by now. went upstairs with my brother, and we were just having a heated argument about his pathetic doping lifestyle when there’s some mental commotion downstairs, and 4 drunken people are carrying duncan through the hall and they all trip over the bikes and are on the floor and there’s all this blood from duncan’s head. apparently geoff (another randomer from the quiz) had held out his hand to shake my dad’s and my dad had reached out, letting go of duncan who then is unconscious and crashes to the floor, and you can hear his head thud on the concrete. holy fucking shit.

so then we went up to the dodgiest pub to see my sister, folded several thousand paper napkins to get her off her shift early, and then at home she’s in floods of tears, and my brother, now semi-stoned, condescending, and frankly a fucking stirrer, is churning out a load of shite about life, and drugs and my sister.

an enthralling friday night…

why on earth is paul presenting the tsunami concert?! he'll scare people away!

i was just sitting there and yelena came and said "have you seen christine?" only it sounded more like "have you got 16p?" and then tascha just goes "yeah, i have 16p", and then she FUCKING TOOK EXACTLY 16P OUT OF HER POCKET AND GAVE IT TO ME! wow! doesn't she just rock?!
PSE. i think it fucking stands for pointless shit... and then something beginning with e. i haven't found out what yet. but it was SHIT. we spent a whole hour writing down the things that worry us. well, mine would honestly be:
- that the education system is getting so ridiculous they have to spend 3 hours a cycle teaching us.. no, not even teaching us, but INDOCTRINATING US with pointless bullshit.
-that the female teacher subtlely resembled a zombie.
-that henry is bald

ha. i have nothing more to say for this post. je suis un loser. henry just ruined my metaphorical story by asking me the somewhat moronic question "couldn't she have just given you 20p?". THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT. THE POINT IS, IT WAS EXACTLY 16p. retard.

so. the end is nigh. au revoir.