relax the fraying wool

slacken ties and i'm....

very very soothed by franz ferdinand. but WTF HOLLYOAKS WAS SHIT TODAY! all the annoying irritating people that i hate were in it: jessica, olivia, zara, jo, those two small boys, reece/reese/rhys .... and oh my fucking god i know their names. disturbing thought.
eastenders was quality though, i have to say. JONNY ALLEN HAS THE EVIDENCE THAT CRISSY KILLED DEN!!
i need help....
today was possibly one of the worst school days of my life. lateness, french, too much biology, no lunch break, mr browne shouting at everyone, haven't done any homework for far too long......
although the ride home cheered me up. had an interesting conversation about michael gardiner and his tendency to claim to be people's parents with jackson. and ate TWO raspberry flapjacks. then came home, watched lots of trash on tv, ate sweet and sour chicken....

i get the feeling there are too many dots in this entry. sometimes i feel that writing in your blog sort of sucks all the academic motivation out of you, so that the more you update the less work you do and the less you want to do until everything spirals out of control and you are left with a ridiculous amount of blog entries and a ridiculous amount of work to do. but then the work is always there, regardless of how much you've updated. the alternative explanation is: i'm fucking lazy! a lot more likely somehow.

totally sickened by the whole labour thing about allowing good schools to effectively become independent, while the bad schools remain bad (well, actually i'm totally sickened by the whole labour thing full stop). surely emphasis should be taken away from "the expansion of popular schools" and towards the expansion of less popular schools in order to make them more popular. otherwise, if labour focus all their efforts on giving the best schools more rights, eventually the school divisions will deepen: the good will get better while the bad get worse, and we'll end up with a grammar school system again! perhaps they should introduce a university system where a proportional amount of pupils from each school got into the best universities (e.g. the top two in 200 got into oxbridge etc.), then the middle classes would be more enthusiastic to get their children into schools full of low achieving kids, rather than pushily migrating into the best catchment area. for once that filthy champagne socialist prescott (whose picture on wikipedia is incidentally the scariest and most pixelated one ever) is vaguely right in opposing ruth kelly, although his reasons for doing so are, as ever, a bit mangled...

while i'm rambling on about politics, i was thinking the other day how well tim's politics match my grandparents' (they're tories too) although i don't know if he likes michael portillo enough. my grandparents actually left the party when portillo didn't become leader. nowadays they watch the six o'clock news nodding feircely to general tory bollocks and saying 'that david cameron chap is quite charming, isn't he?'

bathed in ridicule...... still haven't got a costume for saturday. have considered: tintin, lucy (charlie brown), alice (in wonderland), wallace (& gromit), noodle (gorillaz), anastasia, peter pan and many more, but i don't own anything which vaguely ressembles their costume. suggestions would be good...

i'll have a slice of your mother.
x
p.s. two awesome websites i found on my quest for a costume: disney character gallery and wikipedia's list of one-eyed characters. (it's a shame i only have one eye, perhaps michael gardiner will fix this for me. IN BED.)

and my curtains weren't closed

joey's new flat is surprisingly nice, very spacious, 2 bedrooms etc. however it is on the wrong (south) side of the river, and forest gate rules, so i'm still very comfortably glad that i live here.

still totally hooked on internet trivia. am i the only person who finds this site totally addictive??

i think so.

nothing else, i didn't do much else today except visit my sister and play trivia.

i suck.

there's a super cool band yeah, with their trilbys and glasses of white wine......+_+

they'd prob'ly want to throw a punch at me...

yep, still digging arctic monkeys.

just went to a party in leyton avec ma soeur and ate far too much chocolate mousse. still off alcohol though. for over a month. in fact i've only had a drink on three occasions since the beginning of july, and only got drunk once. fuck knows why i've suddenly gone almost-t-total. kind of scary given the crazy drunken animal i used to be. my brother hasn't drunk anything for ages either.

so i've basically killed the last three days playing online trivia and not doing any work at all. my house is FULL of distractions, which is awesome but damaging on the work side. at the moment we have several luxuries that have been denied to us for years:
*a fucking tv. and a nintendo. totally hooked on holllyoaks, despite the whole *chavs in chester* aspect of it...
*cake. lots of it. don't ask why, it just appeared.
*broadband. it really must be destroyed. now. please. someone. in the last three days i must have spent about 50 hours on the internet. really. can't. hack. this.
i can't work out whether having the above has significantly enhanced my life, or totally destrroyed it. internet trivia is definitely not good. (especially when you google alot of the answers...)
some are born losers, some become losers and some have LOSERness thrust upon them... (shakespeare, that is).
so i'm desperately trying to finish extended essay in between indulging in broadband for far too long, and eating whatever's in the kitchen, and blogging frantically. yesterday i spent far too long changing my display picture to franz. AWESOME i hear franz fans across the country scream. POINTLESS i hear everyone else say disapprovingly.
i slept until 4pm today.

off to delay extendedessay-ing.

p.s. B*, you're wrong. that so IS tobey.
p.p.s. i really should stop caring about that daniel powter video....

and here is the tragic proof that tobey maguire is in a daniel powter video...

here is tobey maguire....

and here he is again in daniel powter's video...!

duels

there's a crack in every window, there's a fault in every frame...

....i want to change everything and i want to stay the same...

howdy.
to think i used to update this thing every day... i really can't get back into the swing of doing that. the main reason for which being the tragic, harrowing fact that my life is actually surprisingly boring and repetitive. i mean, i love it, but i really can't imagine what would entice someone into regularly reading about it.
what i can get into the swing of is listening to karma police by radiohead, eating blueberry muffins, dancing around the house listening to fake tales of san francisco listlessly, indulging in hot showers and chocolate more than is healthy and spending half the holidays sleeping.
luscious.
although today i have been haunted by the demons of physics and extended essays chanting and hovering and generally getting on my nerves.
my parents are away for the next ten days. 'HOUSE PARTY' i hear you scream. ummmm, no. beacause i'm already going to two parties in the next week (well, actually one is a 'mellow gathering', but same difference). because i can't be bothered. and because even if i did bother with one, or two, or three, berengere wouldn't be able to come and berengere fucking makes parties.
random thought of the day:
is that guy in the irritating daniel powter video spiderman???
jesus, has my life really been reduced to this??

hope everyone got my postcards. (yes, i realise now it was foolish to mention the "two awesome parties" on berengere's, which her mother then read, sorry about that.)
wales was incredibly...welsh. with sheep and surfing and roast dinners and too much television and dachshunds and beautiful drenching rain leaving everything green and moist and welsh.

MY DAD IS ON WIKIPEDIA!! how cool is that??!?!?!?!??! (will i be next?? as "daughter of the distinguished academic john grahl?) just for fun i clicked on the link to kirkcaldy high school and then visited its dynamic home page. i even read its weekly newsletter. it seems to have got more violent since my dad/gordon brown left. ("Dangerous Behaviour: Spraying liquid at another person can be dangerous. This can be particularly damaging when you don't know what the liquid contains. Don't spray any liquid at a person!" - what the fuck were they spraying?? spray paint? ribena? also "if you wish to play football in the playground at interval or lunchtime the ball must be no bigger than 12cm in diameter".... do they measure? crazy crazy scottish school policies...beats me.)

and this is what i spend my free time doing. reading kirkcaldy high school's playground rules. even more tragically i was flicking through janet street-porter's autobiography earlier. what the fuck was it doing in our house? what a ghastly women with an incredibly boring life.

perhaps it's me with the boring life..... although twelve hundred people have visited my blog.....

"sparkling eyes, smudged lipstick, fading starlight, the crunching of feet on gravel, laughter, and a slow walk home"
goodnight.
xxx

that red writing makes your eyes go funny. i should fix that.
oh, and by the way... over 1000 people have visited my blog!!!!!!!!!!!!
(or possibly the same 4 people 250 times each. damn.)

the point's that there ain't no romance around there....

hey there. it's me. someone who used to write in this blog once upon a time. i have no excuse for not updating, except total teenage laziness. and i forgot.
wow. berengere's party. raw drunken emotion and too many cookies. happy birthday berengere. hip hip hooray etc.
i feel all tuggy and achy today. my brother is making a rather dubious concoction for dinner, he calls it 'sausages and butternut squash'. interesting. my hair is dripping onto my shoulders and jasper and poppy are mewing impatiently. their lean black legs are gangly. they cannot retract their claws properly. they think knocking over plant pots is a highly amusing pursuit. they eat felicity's food. they cannot see the link between going outside when it is raining and getting wet. soon they are going on an incredible journey to america. i will miss them.
i love it when the nights get longer and the days get shorter. i love luscious rain that pours for hours. i like seeing the streetlights on on my way home from school. perhaps i should move to iceland.

i love carol ann duffy.

The bed we loved in was a spinning world
of forests, castles, torchlight, clifftops, seas
where we would dive for pearls. My lover's words
were shooting stars which fell to earth as kisses
on these lips; my body now a softer rhyme
to his, now echo, assonance; his touch
a verb dancing in the centre of a noun.
Some nights, I dreamed he'd written me, the bed
a page beneath his writer's hands. Romance
and drama played by touch, by scent, by taste.
In the other bed, the best, our guests dozed on,
dribbling their prose. My living laughing love -
I hold him in the casket of my widow's head
as he held me upon that next best bed.

i want to dive for pearls.
x