Burning the candle at both ends.

Kirchner, Girl under a Japanese parasol 1909

Somehow I'm doing too much again. This year is going to be almost as chaotic as last year was. I am now taking GCSE German, AS level Art and A level Maths. And a full time job. And still playing the cello, and sleeping and eating. This shouldn't work, but it's going to. I am fucking determined. I've been lounging around for far too long, it feels invigorating to be doing something worthwhile at long last. This is going to kill me.

So I turned up at Waltham Forest at 7 this evening, having worked all day, feeling filthy and groggy and sleepy and not too enthusiastic, thinking evening classes = mainly people over 40 = awkwardness = probably a fairly dull, uneventful evening, but better than sitting at home using the internet for several hours. Wow. I was wrong. The class was incredible. There were between 30 and 40 people in a massive art studio, about three quarters of them between 17 and 19. There was a model, and loads of resources and some really interesting teachers; people who weren't bitter and cynical like Mr Watson. And we talked about Auerbach and Henry Moore and drew and painted until our fingers were covered in charcoal and we were running out of space and energy and time. It was brilliant. Next week the class is going to see the one exhibition I've wanted to see ALL SUMMER. Tate Modern, Kandinsky, for free, with a whole bunch of really cool people, mostly my age. I am so excited. This is too good. Bring on next Thursday.

I'm going to read books and milk cows and paint and do maths and take exams and go to Edinburgh and work on Christmas day for triple pay and earn lots of money and spend too much money and dance and drink and cover my green walls and cycle and cut my hair and drink tea and twist and shout and it's going to be heavenly. Fuck that, it already is heavenly. Even though my hands are shaking and my eyelids are oh so heavy and in eight hours I have to drag myself to work, I think I've got my youthful vitality back +_+
x