this is bullshit. don't read it. spit on it.

it’s all emotion in this house today. my sister keeps erratically bursting into tears, and my mother is shouting at me because i asked her for some lunch money. talk about irrational reactions… luckily Kaiser chiefs are keeping me sane.

it’s the only way… of getting out of here….
this is the modern way… of faking it every day….

annnnyway. hahahaha the good thing about the bastard blocking thing at school is i have more freedom to bitch about people, as blatantly most people will never check the corner cult blogs ever again. BUT please please please keep updating everyone, especially those who don’t have an excuse not to as they spend ridiculous amounts of time online. no names mentioned ben, tim, berengere, tasch, sarah etc. well, not so much sarah, but hey. actually henry, louise, theo and paul wells go online occasionally so no one has a particularly good excuse. oh well. fuck you all.

i’m loving Katrina’s poem today, it went something like this:
i saw a man
he was a clam
[i’ve actually forgotten the rest… damn.]
the key part was the amazing rhyme of ‘man’ with ‘clam’. classic. pure genius my dear Katrina. no, seriously!

and now for some more from the Kaisers:

i saw you on the bus i saw your shoes. they fell apart some time ago. i’ll buy some more in five y-… no i should really stop randomly quoting lyrics here.

concert went well by the way, except after me and the tall gorgeous johnathan loh had played our piece some other loser got up and played the same fucking piece on the bassoon! what a loser! DO YOU KNOW MY REAL ANSWER I WAS BORN TO BE A DANCER…. no! i should stop doing that now! it’s just offputting listening to such good music! yeah baby! now i sound like a retarded, over-enthusiastic dim witted moron so i’ll stop.

dancer/answer – classic. almost beats man/clam….
S..S..S…SUDDENLY gwen stops quoting Kaiser chiefs. CRE…CRE…CRE…cretin, gwen, stop doing that, it isn’t even funny.
right. RIGHT. jesus, what the fuck is fucking wrong with me??? i really am not physically capable of writing anything remotely sensical. is sensical a word? it’s irritatingly being underlined in red jagged lines so perhaps not. spell check suggests that i am trying to write ‘sensual’, ‘sunscald’ or ‘seneschal’. erm… no.
i bet this entry gets no comments, it’s mostly the ridiculously short ones that get excessive comments. all you have to write is ‘phil is a chav’ or ‘fuck off michael gardiner’ or ‘i am in love with michael jones’ and you instantly THIRTY….BIRTHDAY.. sorry, there i go again, where was i? oh yes, you instantly get lots of comments…. no. the moment’s passed. WELL IT’S TIME HONOURED TRADITION. damn. FUCK THIS. i’m switching off the fucking cd now, this is the limit. i cannot control myself.

*neat change of subject*
hello. i’m gwen. fuck off and stop reading my blog, it’s shit, full of nonsensical Kaiser chiefs references. hang on a minute! nonsensical is a word, but sensical isn’t! who the fuck came up with that one…?
what’s happening here?

it’s strangely subdued now, so i’ll put the cd back on. why am i still writing? i unashamedly have nothing whatsoever to write, Kaiser chiefs or otherwise.
stay alive until you die and that is the end of you.

i am a bastard.

just wordcounted this out of sheer boredom. 549 words, or something. what a REJECT. ok, ok, what has happened recently? actually nothing. apart from me still finding ‘darius’ hilarious. ‘it’s ‘time’ you retard. now go and purchase some second hand adidas.’ wish i was as good at insulting people. my insults normally consist of the word fuck, and very little else. maybe i should do a fuck count again. actually that wasn’t funny the first time and wont be the second time. so fuck that.

my mother just told me to get off the computer and i was so pissed off with the interruption that i threw a pencil sharpener at her. sadly she didn’t see the funny, or even the mental side, to this and said ‘don’t be so aggressive or i’ll dock you £2.’ at this point i threw a stapler at her. this was slightly more effective, and she left. but i think i just lost £4 simply for the satisfaction of throwing some stationery at my mother. THIS IS WHAT MY SAD LIFE HAS BEEN REDUCED TO. LORD HELP ME JESUS.

right. why am i still here? why? why? what has happened to me?

it’s time honoured tradition. to get enough nutrition.
signing out here. that is the end of that.

someone murder me.
x

ps. now feel a bit guilty. the stapler was made out of metal.
pps. still haven’t done that bastard English essay.
ppps. it’s weird the way that ben and Katrina both played me exactly the same Kaiser chiefs clip. bet no one can guess which line it is….
pppps. actually that’s not weird at all. i’m surprised i actually remember pathetic stuff like that.
ppppps what IS weird, though, is the way Microsoft Word automatically capitalises Katrina, but not ben. wahey. maybe if you write ben it just thinks you spelt pen or when or then wrong or something. not quite sure where i was going here. sorry.
pppppps. doesn’t capitalise michael or berengere or theo or sarah. rrrrrrandom.
ppppppps. if you get up to 7 ps you’re officially a reject. it’s a unwritten rule. though you did know this already…
pppppppps. ok, this time i really am off. to restart my Kaiser chiefs cd. i feel like a ridiculous obsessive freak now. although at least i didn’t go up to ricky Wilson and start a conversation about dark chocolate… ricky Wilson- “dark chocolate’s expensive you know.” Katrina- “i know. i’m CLASSY.” ß REAL LIFE CONVERSATION, not just some crazy dream that i had! (sorry, couldn’t resist this one. not that Katrina will ever read this.)
ppppppppps. this is turning into a ridiculous attention seeking device. THIS TIME I REALLY AM GOING. TO STOP BEING A LOSER. GOODBYE X.
pppppppppps. sorry, couldn’t resist the tenth one. did you know i have used the word ‘ridiculous’ three times in this entry?? i need a new vocab.
ppppppppppps. no. simply cannot be fucked. cheerio.