Don't try this ever.
What's with the annual new year fixation with self restraint? Everyone I know seems to be giving things up, detoxing themselves or calorie counting, and I don't understand how being healthy is only a priority in the new year. So, partly out of curiosity but mainly out of intense boredom, I decided to calculate a typical calorie-count, Bridget Jones style. Yes I really am that bored. There are quite a disturbing amount of websites listing every food product ever along with its nutritional values, so clearly I'm not alone in this...
Yesterday:
1 bowl of cornflakes: 101 calories
2 medium apples: 144 calories
4 oranges: 180 calories
1 wholemeal ham sandwich: 350 calories
5 dry water biscuits: 60 calories
2 glasses of orange juice: 26
1 packet of Walkers prawn cocktail crisps:184
Dinner: pasta bows, cream and bacon sauce: 180 + 84 + 42 + 26 + 33 + 19 calories
3 tbsp carrots: 18 calories
4 tsb courgettes: 22 calories
Total: 1469 calories, so I'm not dead. In case you cared.
Calorie counting websites are strange alien lands, featuring everything anyone could even consider eatng, specific to preparation technique, brand name and quantity. It's just fucking weird. Why would you really want to know how many calories there are in raw sausages? Or semi-whipped, semi-non-whipped cream? Or low sodium cucumber pickle??? Also, Bridget Jones, had she not been fictional, would have had a lot of time on her hands. It takes long enough remembering what you ate and drank, let alone adding up the fucking calorie intake.
Conclusion of this pointless activity: counting calories is boring and desperate. By the time I'd worked it out I didn't care any more. (Although still getting over the fact that there are only 6 calories in a tablespoon of carrots... hmmmm...)
And if we're going for the full Bridget Jones thing then: alcohol units none, cigarettes none, weight 9ish stone, exams 2, revision not enough, hours spent asleep 7, time spent writing blog too long. Yes, my life truly is completely tedious.
x
11 Comments:
At least your wasted time has left you enlightened. My wasted time is only ever spent on MSN, listening to music and playing video games. Consider yourself a realtively interesting bored-person.
Mike xxx
About 980 tictacs.
that's true. tomorrow i shall eat the tictacs instead of all this pointless nutritious stuff...
i did think about it, i even researched it. a glass of orange juice contains 13 calories. if you really really care then http://www.thecaloriecounter.com/Foods/900/9207/Food.aspx should confirm.
while you're there you could update your blog.
Good call - can we all be updating our blogs more reguarly please?
Mike xxx
damn. that calorie site must be a bit dodgy.
ah, now i see, that was the amount of calories in one fluid ounce, not one glass!
i hate this calorie thing...
Don't count the calories - eat and drink until you no longer can or you puke. That's the way I like it, baby, I ain't gonna live forever.
Mike xxx
I guess I waste as much time as you do then. But at least I'm paid for it.
coffee, black, 9oz cup 9 cal x3 27
sugar, teaspoon 16 x6 96
bread, wholegrain, slice65 x2 130
cheese, cheddar, slice 113 x2 226
pickle, sweet 20 20
tea, 9oz cup 2 2
tomatoes, cherry 4 x15 60
hummus, tbsp 23 x4 92
pasta, plain, 57g serving75 x3 225
oil, olive, tbsp 119 119
cheese, parmesan 22 22
beer, can 5% 146 146
beer, pint 5% 146 146
fruit drink, sweetened 26 x2 52
1363
ok, Stella artois is actually 221 calories, so the answer is 1513
See i get to eat whatever the fuck i want, because, i trafficked with evil spirits and made a pact with the devil and wrote my name in his book, and now he just takes away all my body mass! its great!
*emaciates further*
I'm not sure i thought this through....
ciaozer!
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